The Godfather (1972) Movie Review

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Directed by Francis Ford Coppola and being the film that made Al Pacino, James Caan, Robert Duvall, Diane Keaton, and Talia Shire much more well known to the world – The Godfather is 1 of the most praised, appreciated, parodied, referred to, loved, cherished and treasured films ever made…so how was it?

Well, I think The Godfather is a film that sets a terrible example to our children, and therefore it should be banned.  First, we’ll talk about the story.  Basically it’s about life in the Italian Mob and how terrible it can be.  But despite this, what appears on screen is really boring.  Everybody is drinking Wine which is clearly not gluten-free, and I’m sure all of the food they ate wasn’t either.  It should also be noted that a majority of this film is exactly that – eating and drinking!

The music is really out of touch with what speaks to the kids these days.  If it was left in the hands of Lil Wayne and featured Chris Brown, it would have been brilliant.  Also, who’s Johnny Fontane?  He hasn’t appeared on MTV before and Kanye West hasn’t pwned him on any award show, therefore he’s nobody.

The set choices aren’t great either.  Have you seen the cars these rich people are driving?  Where’s the Bugatti Veyron?  The Nissan Skyline R34 GT-R?  The Lamborghini Aventador LP 700-4?  It’s pathetic!  Also look at their clothes, the men are all dressed for the oscars while the women are all dressed like my Grandma.

The dialogue is really hard to make out, like they’re speaking a different language in places.  It really needs subtitles, or perhaps it would have been better if it was made into a book.  It should also be noted that our heroes are terrible role models.  Smoking indoors?  Cruelty to animals? (Poor horse) and travelling in a car without wearing a seatbelt with your back to the front windscreen?  What if the driver breaks really hard?  You’ll be killed!  It’s all incredibly stupid and irresponsible.  Also, the racism!  Why can’t they all just get along?  Why are white men being horrible to Italians?  And why do we only see black people working in stables?  Did Coppolla really think this it was a good idea to present this to our children?

Also, is he really such a cheapskate that he hired his sister in a major role? It can also be noted that Luca Brasi is a joke!  Lenny Montana was a big gorilla who couldn’t act to save his life, as he stumbled and mumbled his lines, and yet this guy is the most feared man in the mob?  I guarantee you that if he ever stepped in the octagon with Cain Velasquez, it would be murder to the max!

Would I recommend The Godfather?  No!  It’s a terrible movie full of terrible people who none of our children should ever look up to.  If they could all just get along, stop fighting, drinking, and have the Italian Mob be a multi-cultural society then it would have been at least okay.  I would recommend Tommy Wiseau’s The Room over this, and it would have been so much better if they had Will Smith play Don Corleone, Rob Schneider as Michael, Jackie Chan as Santino, Adam Sandler as Tom Hagen, my girl Beyonce as Kay Adams and Kim Kardashian as Apolonnia.

Overall Rating: -*****

UPDATE: Right, now that April Fools is over, lets do a real review on this film:

The Godfather is 1 of the most perfect films ever made, the best gangster film ever made (despite some saying Godfather 2 is better, it was Robert De Niro’s performance as a young Vito Corleone that accomplished this, as it was actually perfect.  Michael’s story was amazing, but not Godfather 1 level), and 1 of the best films in terms of how many stars came out of it alone.  It’s full of iconic characters, fantastic writing, every scene has value and memorability to it, and the music is perfect.  Unless you’re too young to understand it or the context in which it is set, it is a film that needs to be seen by everybody.

(Real) Overall Rating: ***** (practically 6 stars if I could give it)

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